I have been planning to build my own freelance business for the longest time (Since May 2011). I am inspired by virtual companies such as Blue Global Media and the independent contractors from Odesk. But somehow it seems that I’m not yet ready for it. Admittedly, I have a lot of excuses. I’m not yet stable. I’d rather save my money than to invest it. I’m lazy. Etc.

Last July, I almost accepted a writing contract in a freelance website. The deal is to submit a total of 500 x 500-word articles for $8 each.  The buyer’s budget is $4000. I know it is impossible for me to finish all 500 articles in one month. So, I planned to hire other people to do it for me and pay them $6 for every completed article. But before anything else, I need a back up capital.

Let’s face it, $4000 is a huge amount. What if it’s just a scam? I may be lazy, but I’m not stupid. All I want is to hire other writers to do the things that I can no longer handle. But I will NEVER involve other people until I have enough funds. If you’ve been following my blog, you might have read a post about me being scammed of $110. I don’t want that to ever happen again.

So anyway, I emailed an online friend from Norway to ask if he is interested to team up with me. We’ve already met in person last year so I kind of trust him. However, it turned out he’s not into it as he is already running lots of businesses. He has online employees in India and they are currently busy developing a VOIP software. He said there is a market for this kind of business but there’s just no time for it.

I could have asked Vienna or Ruthi, my other online friends, but I was particularly looking for someone who has the “money.” Of course, these girls have lots of it, I’m just not sure if they’d be willing to invest it in my business idea. Plus I don’t want to do anything that would ruin our friendship. Anyway, the other option is to borrow money from an Affiliate Network but I realized I also don’t want to bury myself in debts.

I again emailed my Norwegian friend because he is the perfect partner for this venture. He is a business person and so personal matters would be set aside. Well, guess what? A couple of hours after sending him the message, I decided to delete my email account because of embarrassment. I don’t want to be a pain in the you-know-where. I guess it’s pride that is getting in the way.

I’m not starving. I don’t need to push myself too hard. Needless to say, I did not pursue the contract. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t even bother to contact the buyer to inform him that I lost interest. There are plenty of opportunities in the internet. But before I grab one, I learned to think 10 times.

Another thing is I don’t have the guts to resort to a cash advance affiliate program. Although business is about taking risks, I’m not a businesswoman. I’m an entrepreneur. There is a big difference between the two. Businessmen make money through investments. Entrepreneurs make money from zero capital. We use our expertise to make a living.