We were having dinner at Chowking Malate when I told my high school best friend that I have something important to tell. Her facial expressions immediately became serious and then she asked me if I were pregnant. I almost choked with her funny yet stupid question. What does that question supposed to mean? She knows very well my love story and it just so happened that the first and only man I ever loved in my entire life is from the other side of the world. Like we never got the chance to see each other in person. So, how on earth am I going to get pregnant? Haha! I didn’t answer her question instead I just rolled my eyes and next thing was we were just laughing hard about it.

Anyway, I wanted to let her know about my plans of becoming a freelance writer. I’m not getting any younger and at this point of my life, I’m searching for a job that would assure me of financial stability. My current full-time job is dead-end. Of course, it’s great that  my desk job is enabling me to pay for the basic bills however, I’m not satisfied. I want something better and as of this minute, blogging and freelance writing are the only possible opportunities I can get. It seems that working abroad is not for me.  My best friend’s salary is 40k a month which is a fairly huge amount if you are living alone in Manila. I am genuinely happy for her. But somehow, I couldn’t help but feel inferior with my 12k.

Photo credits: www.amourdart.com

Let me clarify that I’m not jealous. She utterly deserves it! She’s so kind-hearted and all. Maybe a little envious but not to the extent that I’m losing hope. Besides, I’m not the jealous type, I am the ambitious type. Shy, ambitious and faithful all rolled into one, that’s my personality. I have an inexplicably strong feeling, He has fabulous plans for me. There is a voice whispering in my heart that something incredible will happen and I just need to wait and to be patient. Trouble is, I’m getting older. In a few weeks I’m turning 27 and I hate to say this, but reality is starting to sink in.

I’m not yet financially stable, I haven’t found yet the right person for me and to make my situation worse, I’m growing old. Never mind that I’m still single, I’m absolutely fine with that. Joke. In truth, I am beginning to see my self as an ugly old maid a few more years from now. My other best friend is one year younger than me and she is already wanting to have a family of her own. This got me thinking if something is wrong with me. They’re all getting or at least planning to get married and I am not.

I am suddenly confused. Which should I prioritize? Career or love? I know women should get married at a certain age. But the thought of staying single for the next five years does not bother me. I’m more worried about staying broke and being penniless for the rest of my life. At the very least I should have a back-up source of income.